ops, it’s happening again

I know i know, my behavior to procrastinate things is doing really great, thank you. Usually i wait until last week of the month to start thinking to write and doing it in last day (like now, lol), but i forgot February have less day than the other month (geez, excuses) and i have to attending my cousin wedding that day (more excuses pls), so that’s a lot reason for not doing what i committed, and i allow my body and soul to say ‘fuck it, i will skip this month’. Until today i remember, damn it, i will not allow this happen again, so that is what bring me today to this website and welcome to my ted talk.

Trying to put words in tired condition is really hard, my brain thinking randomly, but my body just wanna sleepppppp. This is like when people feeling sad and before they can open their mouth, the tears already fall. Like my mother tears in my cousin wedding.

Wedding always be both happy and sad event for every family member. Asking the right person to be with you forever until death tear us apart, building a new home to return, making a small bubble of happiness that only you two can create. I love wedding, meet the happy couple and wondering how long this marriage will last.. i hope forever of course. What i didn’t like is preparing the event, especially when you are the one who gonna pay all of them.

Is not secret anymore in my country (Indonesia) many wedding is only for ego feeding. I say many not all of them okay? and mostly is coming from their parents demand. Thinking how expensive it is for 1 day event, it can often cost you a years of your salary and i’m talking in minimum wage salary. We already hard to find a house we can afford and for thinking to work 1 years again to make the 1 day event happening is a no no situation. Not to mention how they make us feel so bad to not inviting all of people in the city for coming to our wedding. That is a really conventional way in our parents time. Things is so different back ago, state of mind is changing now, our parents time and our time, we sure handle situation differently, and it should be parents job to understanding their kids not demanding them.

I can talk this wedding things until my mouth start to foam but it will cost my sanity and before you judge me i against wedding ceremony, i’m not. okay? of course. From my opinion this event have to be simple, meaningful, and not make me broke. I will fight every parents who force their kids to make a big wedding ceremony but they don’t have the budget, another story if their parents is rich enough to pay for their wedding.

This is a quick info, i wanna update my activity, i’m not yet planting succulent, and i try many times to plant another type of seed, i mean vegetables seed and in the first time they grow like almost 10cm high, but at night some rat’s eat them and it happend again and again, until i frustrate enough to try again.

I mean i want do it again but i don’t have the energy right now. In other hands, my girlfriend is succes to keep the plant growing, but the plant need some fence to lay on, so i prepare everything to make that fence and after that hopefully they can grow so we can harvest them.

Anyway, i try to not screw this monthly writing again. Have a great one everyone.